Conflicted
by PrioritiesSorted
Summary: Remus and Lily had always been friends, despite the unfortunate company he kept, so she couldn't help wondering - shouldn't she feel more... conflicted? Oneshot.


_**A/N - so this is just a little piece of headcanon that's been knocking around my brain for a while. Don't own Harry Potter etc. etc. Enjoy! **_

__N.E. were not Lily's favourite thing. At half past three on a sunny Saturday afternoon, they were the thing she hated more than anything. Nose buried in _A Brief History of Transfiguration, _Lily jumped when a gentle voice said,

"Mind if I join you?"

"Remus! Of course, sorry, I was completely engrossed." Lily exclaimed, shifting her piles of parchment to make room for her fellow Prefect. "I thought you would be out gallivanting on a day like today."

Remus smiled but shook his head,

"James, Sirius and Peter are down by the lake tormenting some Slytherins. Sure they did something to deserve it, but you know how it gets to me when they do that."

"Mmm." Lily agreed, "Why don't you just tell them to knock it off?"

"Don't think I haven't tried." Remus told her as he pulled up his chair next to her. "But they don't listen to me; in fact, I think they listen to me even less now I'm a Prefect."

Lily laughed, and nodded her agreement,

"I really wouldn't be surprised. Why do you put up with it?"

"They're the only people who've ever accepted me." Remus said simply, suddenly incredibly interested in his Potions essay. Lily, however, looked up at him curiously.

"What? Everyone likes you, Remus."

"No-one who knows me."

"I know you." Lily said brightly, but Remus shook his head.

"No you... Lily, could we not?" Something in his expression made Lily stop, despite her curiosity.

"Of course, sorry."

"Don't be."

There was a small silence, in which both parties attempted to be interested in their respective essays before Lily spoke up.

"You know, Remus, you really are incredibly decent, despite your questionable company."

"You've never seen me in the mornings." He said seriously, and Lily giggled. "Sirius will vouch that before seven in the morning, he would rather be sharing a dormitory with the Giant Squid. Although, to be honest, I think he does it more to annoy James than me." Remus gave Lily a significant look, and she blushed.

"Yes, well, he was being a prat."

"I think that would be a fair analysis of events, Miss Evans." Remus agreed, "Are you... all right, though? I know you and Severus were close and it must have been hideous, hearing him say that. I found him outside the Common Room next morning, you know. He wanted to stay, but James and Sirius weren't far behind and I thought it wouldn't have been good for them to meet, just then. I hope that was the right thing to do."

"Yes, Remus. Thank you. I couldn't have faced him that morning. Still find it hard now, truth be known. But I'm almost glad, it was really starting to get to me, all his bloody friends and their draconian views. I knew they were all just Death Eaters in training but something inside me was still holding on, still hoping that my friendship was worth enough that he would... I'm sorry." Lily stopped mid-sentence as a tear ran down her face and dropped onto her unfinished essay.

"I believe I already told you not to be." Remus smiled, for the first time realising the merits of his mother's insistence on carry clean handkerchiefs.

"Here." He said, offering it to her.

"Thank you." She breathed, dabbing her eyes delicately.

"I'm not sure whether or not I'm qualified to tell you 'It's all gonna be OK' but I can try if you like?" Remus offered, and Lily smiled. "I'm afraid I'm not too good at this consolation lark. That's what comes of spending too much time around the Marauders – the excessive bravado gets to you. I do have some chocolate, though!" He remembered suddenly, digging in his pocket for the bar of dark chocolate he carried for emergencies.

"You should give yourself more credit." Lily assured him with another smile, taking a small bite of the proffered chocolate. They were quiet for a moment, while she chewed the chocolate.

"Remus?" She said suddenly, he started.

"Lily?" He replied, turning briskly in his chair to face her, his expression mock-serious, though a grin threatened to break through.

"Have you ever, I mean, do you ever feel as though you should be more... conflicted?"

"About?"

"James."

"I'm not entirely sure I follow. I mean, he's a prat, certainly, but a good bloke underneath it all..."

"No, I mean, you're intelligent and considerate and really not at all bad looking. I would like to think I am also those things?" She raised a questioning eyebrow.

"Er... yes, yes absolutely. But..."

"And, despite it all, we're really rather good friends. So, in theory, we should be, I dunno, compatible?"

"Lily, what are you..."

Remus was cut off abruptly by Lily's lips. The kiss was soft and sweet and really very pleasant, but the Library was far from filled with fireworks. Then, just as suddenly as it had began, Lily pulled away.

"Nothing?"

"I... um... yeah. Nothing."

"Good, glad we got that sorted out."

**_A/N - Reviews and Feedback are always welcome :) _**


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